The Newest Oldest Dragonmark

Chapter 4: The Elemental Express

Part 4

Our heroes try to wrangle in the last of the lightning elementals as Snowy's Angels subdue Big Greg using some of Craig's fancy net magic. In order for the other elementals to jump back into their Lightning Posts, however, the party has to pull out all the stops:

  1. Miguera nearly loses a leg jumping through the Magical Rubberized Barrier to Reg Greg's room.
  2. Mikaelo's body is robbed of electricity completely as he tries to convince Little Greg to go back to his post. Our hero's Half-Orc resilience keeps him alive, just barely.
  3. Itachi constructs an elaborate way to allow Katherine the elemental to see his eyes once she re-enters her post. It's possible he was cursed by this but there's no way to tell. 
  4. Smalls stands by as Harry the elemental is forced into his post by Craig and Minister Chunk. There was some yelling and dick measuring but Smalls comes out on top.
  5. Kelennia tries to bargain with Ira, an irate elemental who demands to be let out of his pen. 
  6. Miguera shamelessly flirts with Bash Hammerforge who is easily won over by her forthcoming nature. 
  7. Mikaelo throws his axe at Ira but misses, embedding it in Jumpy O'Griefer's leg. Pain ensues.
  8. Smalls looks at tools on a shelf.


Once the elementals are all back in their rightful places, Itachi figures out a way to replace the missing control panel with his dagger and our heroes join Snowy's Angels in the First Class Dining car. Mo'ga welcomes them happily; he even remembers his and Miguera's secret handshake. 

The heroes catch up on what they've been doing for the past little while. We learn that Snowy is perhaps older than he seems and that this group of half-orcs has been friends with the cat for much longer than the Southern Island Crew has. 

Interrupting their conversation, Sarya appears and tells Snowy's Angels that they have to go: they can't wait for the train to start moving again. Killer pulls out a barbed longsword (lovingly dubbed "Snowy's Penis" by our heroes) and literally cuts a hole in the side of the dining car. The Angels jump out and slide down the strut of the bridge that the train is currently stuck on. Before she leaves, Sarya tells our heroes that they need to gather information from the robed figure that haunts the train, information about Margaret the Silver Dragon

Soon after, the party is confronted by the mysterious black figure they had heard about from the passengers. He offers them a chance to rest which they do not take, then disappears. The other passengers reappear soon after. 

With some help from Miguera's keen eyes, Smalls manages to start the train again, starting of course at full speed. After collecting themselves, the party members are individually threatened by the black-robed figure. They are shown images that chill them to their very core:

  1. Kelennia is shown an image of the figure lighting Kelennia's mother on fire.
  2. Itachi is shown images of what his life would be like without his precious Mage Hand.
  3. Mikaelo's head is filled with thoughts of caring about things and losing his neutrality
  4. Miguera sees herself singing in the shower, slowly losing her ability to sing in tune, then looking in the mirror to realize that her beard has disappeared. 
  5. Smalls is shown a world where, upon meeting his long-lost family members, he isn't actually "kind of tall for a halfling"

The figure's voice goads them to kill themselves in the face of these bleak outcomes. He tells them that they need only give up one of their skins and he'll leave them alone. He even promises to bring them back to life as a SkinDog. 

Still, the party remains strong and chooses to fight the figure when he appears in the control car. Itachi and Smalls pull off a sick combo move and Smalls manages to puncture some of the figure's exposed organs (he's a skeleton dude) with his blades. Unfortunately, the rogue duo are gravely wounded as the figure's head-mouth opens up and chews their faces to bits, but not before Malicious “Smalls” Wrongdoey managed head-butt his bony punk-ass . 

The fight is grand but the figure shows no sign of weakening as he takes out the tired party members one by one. As the party lay on the floor of the train, death creeping into their eyes, they see flashes of silver around them and the sound of metal on metal as The Elemental Express hurdles towards Zolanberg at full speed.

What will happen to our fallen adventurers? What were those flashes of silver? Will Bash ever come back for Miguera? Is Kelennia's mother really dead? ARE ITACHI'S EYES CURSED NOW??? Find out next time in Chapter 5: Make Eberron Great Again!

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